The Engineer's Lunch Break WritingsThe Official Whigs for Political Office Site

Livin' on the edge!

2008-05-08T12:31:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I found my paper sitting on the railing edge just as seen in the picture to the side. I took a picture, meaning to post something about it, then forgot. It's been pretty rough here at work and so it must have just slipped my mind. Well, what better way to remind me than to have the paper placed in the same position the following morning (today)?

So I go back to my original question - could this person actually be throwing it and having it land in such bizarre spots? If so, these have been some amazing throws in which my paper is teetering on the edge. But if they're actually placing the paper in these spots, what's up with that? Anyway, here's the grade for both of landings.

Feet from door - ~ 4, maybe?
Direction - 10 o'clock
Overall grade - A+
Comments - Very creative, high degree of difficulty, no bending to pick up the paper. Took me a couple seconds to see it, but not too shabby. A little closer to the door and it would be perfect.

A Television Appearance

2008-04-29T12:47:00.004-04:00

Last night, I noticed a goofy duo who were in the background of an Antiques Roadshow appraisal. It's a difficult search, but I will say to look towards the right side of the background when the camera is not zoomed on the photo or the people. Good luck.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/200704A37.html

Finally, the paper carrier comes through!

2008-04-29T12:32:00.004-04:00

Well, I suppose everybody thought I was through with grading my paper carrier. And I was for a time - all the landings were pretty boring. Some landed pretty far away, but nothing spectacular. That was until today. When I first walked out, I couldn't find my newspaper. I was getting ready to call when I decided to do a little more investigating. I had it in my mind that maybe the newspaper fell to the first floor.

I was close, but if it had just fallen, I'm not sure I would be posting it here. Instead, the newspaper was balancing on the very edge of the second floor "hallway" as it were. In the picture, you can see the stairs on the top right, the railing is all the white on the bottom of the image. And the vertical line cutting across the newspaper is the very edge of the deck. Impressive, no?

Feet from door - ~ 4, maybe?
Direction - 10 o'clock
Overall grade - A
Comments - Very creative, high degree of difficulty - but a slight deduction since I had to get prepped before going outdoors and searching for the paper.

Inquiring minds need to know

2008-04-02T16:47:00.002-04:00

So this Shagg doll can only mean that soon Shagg himself will finally reveal the mystery that all of humanity has been searching for since the beginning of time...or at least since ~13000BC.

Front and Center

2008-04-02T16:39:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a boring toss, but today was a good paper day, as you can plainly see.

Feet from door - < 1
Direction - front and center!
Overall grade - A-
Comments - Not creative, but at least I didn't have to venture out.

Meet and greet - sorry, no photos available

2008-03-31T12:23:00.002-04:00

This past week, the big deal locally has been Bil - excuse me - Hillary's meet-and-greet at a local family restaurant. It figures the media would go and make a circus out of this. But a few days later, while those who went were still swishing Scope to get rid of the aftertaste, another contender made a visit to a local restaurant.

I decided that I should go to the local KFC to voice my views on things. The first question asked? "Would you like this for here or to go?" Obviously, I said "to go" - To go and clean up Washington! Then I got the hardball - "Would you like a drink with that?" Tricky, admittedly - and most likely a plant from McCain - but with a "No, thank you", I deftly demonstrated my fiscal responsibility and my ability to be civil when faced with such obvious partisanship.

No photos are available, unfortunately, unless anyone has access to the security camera.

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Now playing: Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning (181.fm - The Eagle (Your Home For REAL Classic Rock!))
via FoxyTunes

My paper carrier appears to have befriended Jose Canseco

2008-03-31T12:08:00.002-04:00

Well, it appears that my paper carrier has decided that there's no point in consistent deliver. After a weekend which included two standard nearby deliveries (one right in front of my door), I wake up to find a 5-foot distance between my door and the paper. It crossed that line that would seem to indicate that the paper belongs to my neighbors and not me. Well, I hope it wasn't because I took it.

I now insist that our congress quit overlooking the obvious and perform 'roid testing on paper carriers nationwide. It could be your paper carrier next. Do you really think you should be walking an extra 5-6 feet to get your paper? It's cold out there!

Feet from door - 5
Direction - ~3 o'clock
Overall grade - D
Comments - Perhaps my paper carrier is on to me?

Click "Newspaper Grading" below to see previous grades.

A turn of events

2008-03-28T12:29:00.002-04:00

As can plainly be seen in the picture, the paper has now migrated closer to my door. I was able to not step a single foot outdoors and simply reach and grab. Good, no?

Unfortunately, with three consecutive days of no bizarre paper landings, it may appear that my concerns for the paper carrier are unwarranted. But I urge you to keep checking in, for you can never been to sure when a nemesis is attempting to lull you into your comfort zone. And when that happens, you can bet that the next place you'll find the paper sitting is on the hood of your car. Or something.

Feet from door - 1
Direction - ~2-3 o'clock
Overall grade - B
Comments - Good spot, but still no creativity. Also, and I know this has nothing to do with the actual paper landing, but I'm tired of seeing the EXACT same ads for every day this week.

Slowly creeping away

2008-03-27T12:22:00.002-04:00

Just when you thought this blog was making a big deal about non-issues, it is now your go-to place for the latest in paper landing information. You can plainly see the photo shows that the paper has landed a little further away - creeping away slowly from my door, perhaps? We'll see tomorrow!

Feet from door - 3
Direction - ~2-3 o'clock
Overall grade - C
Comments - Basically the same comments as yesterday, but I am concerned that the paper will eventually hit the halfway mark between me and the door next to me - and next thing you know, they'll open the door and I'll be in front of it picking up my paper.

Early Morning Adventures

2008-03-26T12:30:00.003-04:00

Lately, it occurred to me that I have kept to myself the bizarre behaviors of the morning paper carrier. Probably because I'm barely awake and only the morning version of me really puts any sort of thought into it. However, a few days ago I decided I would start documenting the final location of my newspaper in the morning.

So to the right, you can see that we have about 2-3 feet to the left of my door. Not too shabby and this is one of the more typical locations for the paper. But I've found my paper on the narrow railing next to my door, leaning against the exterior of the apartment. I've seen it thrown far enough towards another door near me that I wasn't sure if it was actually my paper or not. And sometimes it's laying perfectly in front of my door.

I can hardly believe the guy is tossing the newspaper; the paper on the railing HAD to be intentional. Perhaps before I retrieved the paper, it fell to the apartment below. The resident below me, obviously knowing that I am a newspaper reader (no doubt he hears shouts of "We're paying for WHAT now?!?) decided to place it in that convenient spot for me to reach. Do I believe this? Not in the slightest.

I've seen my paper carrier before. Once. He appeared to be a tired, disheveled teenager just trying to do his job. That's what I thought at the time. But now that I think about it, he was kind of ghostly. Yes, that's it. Now that I look back on the whole thing, it seems like what I beheld was actually an apparition appearing in the form of a tired, disheveled teenager. And now it is playing tricks on my mind. Or worse yet, perhaps I'm like an animal to it. Zoos regularly hide treats for their more intelligent animals in different locations every day in order to prevent them from getting bored - is this what's happening to me?

In any case, I will start grading some of the newspaper landings. If sometime in the future, you just wish to see all the posts regarding newspapers, click here. Below is my first grading.

Feet from door - 2 to 3
Direction - ~2 o'clock
Overall grade - C
Comments - This is the most common throw I see; not too bad, but I don't like setting foot outside my door, so my laziness will result in a drop of one letter grade on this one. The second letter drop is from lack of creativity.

Sometimes justice is a heartbreaker

2008-03-25T17:59:00.002-04:00

Well, I've just been informed by a cold, heartless recording that I will NOT be participating in jury duty. Although the majority of people seem to want to find ways around serving, I didn't want to pass up the experience. Unfortunately, it appears the decision has been made for me. Another time, another time.

Also, I'm trying to figure out what template I want to use...I'm not so sure I'm going to stick with this one (if it doesn't look any different to you, then I guess I switched back).

I am now watching digital television

2008-03-24T12:40:00.003-04:00

Well, that's not to say that I am at this current moment, but I recently became the proud owner of a digital converter box. With no paid supplemental TV, this was a nice little addition for a few extra channels. It'll also be nice when I don't have to toss my TV or start getting extra channels simply because the signals have switched to digital.

Now that being said, I do have some "concerns" about this digital TV in the week and a half I've had with it. For instance:

When the picture goes out, it doesn't just get a little fuzzy. Instead, it pixelizes and becomes incredibly unwatchable.
It can be difficult to adjust the antenna in order to receive stations. Also, the local FOX station has YET to turn digital output to full broadcast power.
Related to the two points above, sometimes just walking in front of my antenna can cause the station to become unwatchable. What will happen when it storms?

Yet there are great advantages to this, too.

Multiple stations! How many chances do I get to watch "This Old House" now? More than necessary, but still good. Though I do think they should run some "Nova" on one of the stations, since I normally miss the Tuesday showing.
Clearer picture - at least when the station is correctly tuned in. The widescreen thing is pretty cool, too.
No more stations gobbling up the bandwidth with wasteful analog signals. Well, I guess that's not happened quite yet, but that's the goal.

Speaking of television, the long-awaited Antiques Roadshow from Louisville will be aired in just over a month. Mark your calendars!

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Now playing: Hollies - Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress) (181.fm - The Eagle (Your Home For REAL Classic Rock!))
via FoxyTunes

On a recent trip...

2008-02-26T22:33:00.002-05:00

In case you thought that driving at night on some Indiana highway was boring, I think this picture may change your mind. Exciting, no?

Democratic Primaries

2008-02-26T22:04:00.003-05:00

So I wish I had a great image for this, but I don't. Instead, imagine a bunch of hippies sitting around in a circle singing Kumbaya. If they had a contest between them, they can't be as cutthroat in the rules as the Republicans, so as long as you get a reasonable amount of votes in a certain primary, you still get some delegates. Everybody's a winner! Just some more than others.

But the Kumbaya circle is misleading. Really, the concept sounds more nice and friendly, but imagine the acoustic guitarist trying to beat an opponent over the head or the whittler attempting to stab someone else in the back. That is your Democratic primaries.

One of the worst parts of the whole race is an e-mail going around making false claims about one of the participants. Yeah, to the uninformed, it might seem somewhat plausible, but to those in the know, it's an appalling attempt to debase the candidate with baseless claims. I've said it once, but let me repeat again: Hillary Clinton is NOT the queen of the harpies! At least not officially, yet.

Republican Primaries

2008-02-20T22:02:00.006-05:00

Aaron Burr vs. Alexander Hamilton - The inspiration behind Republican primaries?

So in case you haven't noticed, we've been in the middle of the primaries for some time now. And while I've had plenty of interest in these races, I haven't had the time to make fun of - excuse me - evaluate them.
I've decided to start with the Republican races. First of all, McCain appears to have sealed the deal, which seems to be quick to do in the Republican primaries.
Republican primaries are brutal win all or lose completely contests. And in these winner-take-all primaries, losers drop out fast and, eventually, happily endorse the leading candidate.

Or something like that...

(REUTERS/Robert Galbraith)
(Um, that's legal, right?)

Even us Whigs aren't this out there

2008-02-04T17:54:00.001-05:00

Today I was the proud recipient of the mailing you see here. That's right, you're not supposed to believe anything those "liberal rags" or "right-wing mouthpieces" say. Well, while I can deal with a healthy dose of media skepticism, the unwritten implication is that you should believe a random, for profit, mass mailing.

In this particular case, it's about buying a home. In case you were unaware (in that case, you may be going to too may Whig rallies), the housing market is somewhat in a slump and the economy is wheezing and struggling to go on, somewhat like I recall doing during freshman cross-country meets. Anyway, one likely candidate for the current woes seems to be sub-prime lending. This focuses on the "Check Into Cash" of home loans and apparently this risky venture didn't work out so well. Anyway, this mailing assures those with bad (sorry, "less than perfect") credit that you can still get loans.

"And", it continues, 'it's not like another foreclosure is the worst thing that could happen, am I right?"

Christmas at work

2007-12-26T12:36:00.001-05:00

So while others may be enjoying time off for the Christmas season, I find myself here at work. Sure, I may be "accomplishing" stuff, but is that any reason I should have to be here? Well, at least one good thing came of it. I was able to put up the poster I received for Christmas. Could it possible be the best movie since the critically-acclaimed, box-office smash "Over the top"? One can only guess...

Merry Christmas, One and All!

2007-12-21T14:48:00.000-05:00

And remember, the Whigs know whether you're a registered Whig or not, so you better be a registered Whig, for goodness sakes! Or something like that.

In other news, this blog's author submitted his best material for a high-profile comic strip that appears in national newspapers and said material will be used in upcoming strip. More details as they arrive.

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Now playing: Blackmore's Night - Ding Dong Merrily on High (S K Y . F M - The Christmas Channel - A fine collection of Christmas & Holiday music!!)
via FoxyTunes

Over a month later...

2007-12-11T12:35:00.000-05:00

In case you thought that this Whig supporter had gone into hiding due to lack of coverage in the media, well, you're sort of right. First of all, I'm disturbed to announce that this survey does NOT include any of the Whig candidates. Poor souls who take this will end up traumatized when the survey reports back that nobody the media keeps tabs on supports their positions except maybe some beagle from Davenport running as an independent. We here supporting the Whigs are letting it be known that our candidates are the best choice for everyone - although the beagle would be a good choice, as well.

Also, while the rest of the comics on this site are usually pretty lackluster, I find this is one that I truly relate to.

2007-10-30T12:16:00.000-04:00

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

As a representative of the Whig Party, I approve this message

This blog - taken too seriously?

2007-10-17T20:51:00.000-04:00

That's the question I pose to the reader today. You can see in this comment section that a newcomer notes that they would (blogger's note: my touchpad is going to be the end of me - I keep touching it on accident and it sends the cursor out to destroy previous work) like the shirts in Florida. Which is fine - great actually. But one problem - after going on some links, it turns out they're the real deal - sort of. Check this out - underneath the map there's a link to this blog. If you are this newcomer, I encourage you to read some more posts. I think you'll see what I mean. For instance:

1) I generally don't air political grievances on this blog except to make fun of the never-ending ineptitude of all politicians. Opinions on this blog do not necessarily coincide with the views of the blogger. Instead, this blogger believes in such "insane" ideas like peaceful diplomacy, fiscal responsibility, ending corruption in Washington, and mining for barium isotopes around quasar GB1508.

2) I can see where maybe I'm so not funny that you think I'm being serious, but I'm sad to say that really is all the humor I can muster.

In short, I think you (the Florida Whig Party person) should reconsider putting my blog on your listing. And I think you (the regulars) should consider purchasing one of the shirts below. More to come soon!

And you (William Henry Harrison) - lookin' good!

New layout

2007-10-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

So in case you haven't noticed, I spruced up the blog a little bit. Maybe it looks a little less professional, but really it's just part of the Whigs message. It's simple yet sophisticated. Also, compare us to this and tell me who's really crazy. Okay, I admit they've got a point with Cascadia, but other than that, they're nutso. And that's the official Whig position.

Anyway, you might notice that I've now got some patriotic bling posted for the occasion. The Whig shirt designs are still in the works, but make no mistake - it'll be the next big thing.

Whig shirts in the works

2007-09-14T12:12:00.000-04:00

So I'm pleased to announce that a PROFESSIONAL graphic designer has been working day and night (well, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration) on some Whig shirts. Obviously, this demonstrates the devotion people have to the grand ol' Whig party! Unfortunately, I meant to post this last night along with the .pdf's of the actual designs, but I forgot. They will be posted soon enough, but this just gave me a reason to build up suspense for the shirts.

Also, if you look at the bottom of this post, I have a new Firefox plugin which posts the song I'm currently listening to on Winamp. Awesome, eh?

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Now playing: Grand Funk Railroad - We're An American Band (181.fm - The Eagle (Your Home For REAL Classic Rock!))
via FoxyTunes

Mainstream Media and Censorship

2007-08-27T21:06:00.000-04:00

I thought I would spend one post on a serious topic that needs to be addressed with the media today. Censorship. Have you noticed during these ongoing debates that they aren't just ignoring certain people? That maybe they're missing an entire PARTY?!? No, not the crazies in the Green or Libertarian parties - how about the perfectly sensible people in the Whig Party?

I know I say this every year, but this time I'm really going to try and make Whig shirts to get the message out. I feel the following are good starters:

"Front: The Whig Party. Back: 100 years without a scandal"
"Front: Vote Whig. Your great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents did."

Perhaps word of mouth would help as well. Maybe a fair survey to compare, say, Daniel Boone to current members of congress. I have a suspicion who would come out on top.

Also feel free to let the media outlets know how you feel; tell them William Henry Harrison sent you.

Louisville wrap-up

2007-08-06T12:14:00.000-04:00

In case you were interested in what else we saw while in Louisville, I made a slideshow of it especially for you. If possible, I would have made it one of those great slideshows that they used to show in elementary school. It probably would have gone something like:

"And here we see Vince making a fool of himself with a life size figure of Colonel Sanders - *ding*"

Instead, you'll have to settle for this. (NOTE: Click the "i" image on the page to read my comments)