Tom Flambe

Did you hear the big news???? A politician is accused of unethical behavior!!! And his name is Bill Frist...or wait, is it Tom DeLay? Well, anyway, I think all this will end in a mud wrestling match between all those on Capitol Hill - finally, mudslinging I can all appreciate! For those who haven't been able to flip past the first few pages of the newspaper, I've dug out the important stories you should know about:

OOooookay

Sooooo...when do we start seeing commercials with Gnu's gnu or Linux's Tux?

Above: Tux finds a problem with his new hobby.

[Blogger's ponder: I wonder if there's a copyright on a picture of a mascot for open-source software...]

Whoa

I remember when I was younger, I was too afraid to go feed the killer whales at Sea World. It was the thought of holding a fish and having a big animal come up and eat it that scared me the most. My only response to this disturbing rumor is from a Malcolm in the Middle episode - "That's like giving a shark a submachine gun!"

I like reading the hardball writings of local columnist Frank Gray (even when he put the heat under my friend's dad!). His attempt to bring to light stories that fall through the cracks often brings attention and resolve for those involved. Now, he finally breaks open a story unlike we've ever seen before!

*gasp*!

[blogger's note: I actually do enjoy reading his column...]

That's all I have time for today. Any retorts to this posting are merely a partisan attack on the Whig Party.

TGIM

Sometimes, you have to learn the ropes when you first begin your career. For example, today I learned a valuable lesson I will treasure for all of my days: if I want "Orangeade" from the vending machines, I should press the "Lemonade" button. If I want lemonade, I should press the "Hawaiian Punch" button. And if I want Hawaiian Punch, well, that's at the grocery store.

Earlier, I learned the v alue of the voice-recognition software used to help you make your way through a company's phone network. Instead of having to type in that extension with those pesky keys (why are those on the phone, anyway?!?), you can now use your native English language to navigate the labyrinth of corporate telephone directories.

[blogger's note: Just received call #1, how tempted I was to direct it to that good buddy o' mine]

Anyway, this works rather well, unless you suffer from allergies, in which case you tend to make sounds which aren't really words (or at least they're not recognized in the latest Oxford). Recently, while using one of these, I happened to sneeze...which immediately sent me to some extention (I'm not sure which buttons on the phone corresponds to a sneeze).

Finally, the non-confrontational remarks don't fly so well in all situations. Given the statement, "Do you need this right away", I probably should have opted to say "Yes." Instead, I decided to say "Um, pretty soon would be nice." Cue laughter on the other end of the phone.

That wraps up another entry for me. Until next lunch, ciao! I believe I'll go get some Doritos out of the Coke machine...

Quick Notice

I was informed that this blog wouldn't allow comments...that has been changed. It also came to my attention that anything could be written about this blog. That also has been changed. Now only comments regarding how spectacular the blog is will be allowed. That is all.

Not-so-lovely Rita, Hurricane

My problems with calls during lunch have persisted, but I believe today I may have found a solution. While making calls of my own, I had to call a certain company. While making this call, I was asked to hold for the next available representative. The next available representative turned out to be the beep-beep-beep letting me know my call had been disconnected. I asked this representative if perhaps there was another better suited for my needs, but they were quite insistent. After calling a second time, I was once again transferred to Mr. beep-beep-beep. After a third time, I finally got someone else, who was about as much help as Mr. beep-beep-beep.
I believe the solution to my problems might be to indicate to the caller that there is someone who may be more interested than I in what they have to say...and send them off to Mr. beep-beep-beep.

Anyway, here are some other things I learned yesterday:

If you don't want drill holes in a table, you should probably put something between the object being drilled and the table itself...and more than likely, your co-workers don't want holes in the table.

If you play around with glue, make sure it doesn't have "weld" in its name, and come in a two-part epoxy, and have 80% of its label covered in warnings. Not good.

Well, I guess that's about it for today. Here's hoping that the responsibility for this upcoming hurricane doesn't get delegated to Mr. beep-beep-beep.

Lorem Ipsum

Greetings, readers (note reckless use of plurality). Today, I had the joy of hosting a shadow at my place of work. This can be a very rewarding experience...if the shadow has any interest at all in the job you hold. This was not the case today. And if anyone's ever felt like their job doesn't always have the most exciting days in the first place, they could only imagine how an outsider verifying this makes it even less satisfying.

[blogger's note: again, I have been called during my lunch break! I'll fix this problem yet!]

Enough about me, apparently someone's been shadowing Mr. Gates.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/050914/3/3uxst.html
[note: this link is now broken; try
http://www.thebostonchannel.com/technology/4970655/detail.html instead]
Apparently being with Uncle Rico didn't give him enough derision.
"Blue screen error! Idiot!"

[blogger's second note: apparently I need to get on this problem quick...yet another call!]

Well, my lunch has been eaten (as of 45 minutes ago), and work awaits. Until next time...dolor!

The Engineer's Lunch Break Writings Debut

Hello all, and welcome to my blog. As you may have guessed (congrats on the intuition!), I am an engineer and I am indeed on my lunch break. I probably won't be breaking any big news or anything; and if I did, expect to see me in court a few days later under charges of libel.

However, I can manage already-broken news. Perhaps you missed, underneath all the depressing headlines, of a fantastic new invention. It involves television! And death! Yes, television and death. I present my first link in this blog: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050908/ap_on_hi_te/video_tombstones

[Blogger's note: Link is broken, try: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9257776/ ]

Perhaps it's just my cynicism kicking in, but I suspect when someone tells him they're not interested in these, he immediately begins peddling soap.

Anyway, I can only claim lunch break for so long, so until next time, be wary of anyone who wants to sell you video tombstones (except me, because the ones I'm selling are PLASMA!).