I AM hungry for taquitos

Welcome back, readers. As per your request, I am here to give you the latest breaking important news that you'll ever need to know. Here are some things that may affect your view of the world and force you to look deep inside yourself and ask "Am I hungry for taquitos?"

World Politics: Once again, the Russians are up to no good. Well, at least their president. Putin, how could you?!?

U.S. Science: Once again, scientists are making headway in the making-water-go-uphill race. I hear Russia is fuming they didn't find it first.