Meet and greet - sorry, no photos available

This past week, the big deal locally has been Bil - excuse me - Hillary's meet-and-greet at a local family restaurant. It figures the media would go and make a circus out of this. But a few days later, while those who went were still swishing Scope to get rid of the aftertaste, another contender made a visit to a local restaurant.

I decided that I should go to the local KFC to voice my views on things. The first question asked? "Would you like this for here or to go?" Obviously, I said "to go" - To go and clean up Washington! Then I got the hardball - "Would you like a drink with that?" Tricky, admittedly - and most likely a plant from McCain - but with a "No, thank you", I deftly demonstrated my fiscal responsibility and my ability to be civil when faced with such obvious partisanship.

No photos are available, unfortunately, unless anyone has access to the security camera.

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My paper carrier appears to have befriended Jose Canseco

Well, it appears that my paper carrier has decided that there's no point in consistent deliver. After a weekend which included two standard nearby deliveries (one right in front of my door), I wake up to find a 5-foot distance between my door and the paper. It crossed that line that would seem to indicate that the paper belongs to my neighbors and not me. Well, I hope it wasn't because I took it.

I now insist that our congress quit overlooking the obvious and perform 'roid testing on paper carriers nationwide. It could be your paper carrier next. Do you really think you should be walking an extra 5-6 feet to get your paper? It's cold out there!

1. Feet from door - 5
   
2. Direction - ~3 o'clock
3. Overall grade - D
   
4. Comments - Perhaps my paper carrier is on to me?

Click "Newspaper Grading" below to see previous grades.

A turn of events

As can plainly be seen in the picture, the paper has now migrated closer to my door. I was able to not step a single foot outdoors and simply reach and grab. Good, no?

Unfortunately, with three consecutive days of no bizarre paper landings, it may appear that my concerns for the paper carrier are unwarranted. But I urge you to keep checking in, for you can never been to sure when a nemesis is attempting to lull you into your comfort zone. And when that happens, you can bet that the next place you'll find the paper sitting is on the hood of your car. Or something.

1. Feet from door - 1
   
2. Direction - ~2-3 o'clock
3. Overall grade - B
   
4. Comments - Good spot, but still no creativity. Also, and I know this has nothing to do with the actual paper landing, but I'm tired of seeing the EXACT same ads for every day this week.

Slowly creeping away

Just when you thought this blog was making a big deal about non-issues, it is now your go-to place for the latest in paper landing information. You can plainly see the photo shows that the paper has landed a little further away - creeping away slowly from my door, perhaps? We'll see tomorrow!

1. Feet from door - 3
2. Direction - ~2-3 o'clock
3. Overall grade - C
4. Comments - Basically the same comments as yesterday, but I am concerned that the paper will eventually hit the halfway mark between me and the door next to me - and next thing you know, they'll open the door and I'll be in front of it picking up my paper.
   

Early Morning Adventures

Lately, it occurred to me that I have kept to myself the bizarre behaviors of the morning paper carrier. Probably because I'm barely awake and only the morning version of me really puts any sort of thought into it. However, a few days ago I decided I would start documenting the final location of my newspaper in the morning.

So to the right, you can see that we have about 2-3 feet to the left of my door. Not too shabby and this is one of the more typical locations for the paper. But I've found my paper on the narrow railing next to my door, leaning against the exterior of the apartment. I've seen it thrown far enough towards another door near me that I wasn't sure if it was actually my paper or not. And sometimes it's laying perfectly in front of my door.

I can hardly believe the guy is tossing the newspaper; the paper on the railing HAD to be intentional. Perhaps before I retrieved the paper, it fell to the apartment below. The resident below me, obviously knowing that I am a newspaper reader (no doubt he hears shouts of "We're paying for WHAT now?!?) decided to place it in that convenient spot for me to reach. Do I believe this? Not in the slightest.

I've seen my paper carrier before. Once. He appeared to be a tired, disheveled teenager just trying to do his job. That's what I thought at the time. But now that I think about it, he was kind of ghostly. Yes, that's it. Now that I look back on the whole thing, it seems like what I beheld was actually an apparition appearing in the form of a tired, disheveled teenager. And now it is playing tricks on my mind. Or worse yet, perhaps I'm like an animal to it. Zoos regularly hide treats for their more intelligent animals in different locations every day in order to prevent them from getting bored - is this what's happening to me?

In any case, I will start grading some of the newspaper landings. If sometime in the future, you just wish to see all the posts regarding newspapers, click here. Below is my first grading.

1. Feet from door - 2 to 3
2. Direction - ~2 o'clock
3. Overall grade - C
4. Comments - This is the most common throw I see; not too bad, but I don't like setting foot outside my door, so my laziness will result in a drop of one letter grade on this one. The second letter drop is from lack of creativity.
   

Sometimes justice is a heartbreaker

Well, I've just been informed by a cold, heartless recording that I will NOT be participating in jury duty. Although the majority of people seem to want to find ways around serving, I didn't want to pass up the experience. Unfortunately, it appears the decision has been made for me. Another time, another time.

Also, I'm trying to figure out what template I want to use...I'm not so sure I'm going to stick with this one (if it doesn't look any different to you, then I guess I switched back).

I am now watching digital television

Well, that's not to say that I am at this current moment, but I recently became the proud owner of a digital converter box. With no paid supplemental TV, this was a nice little addition for a few extra channels. It'll also be nice when I don't have to toss my TV or start getting extra channels simply because the signals have switched to digital.

Now that being said, I do have some "concerns" about this digital TV in the week and a half I've had with it. For instance:

• When the picture goes out, it doesn't just get a little fuzzy. Instead, it pixelizes and becomes incredibly unwatchable.
  
• It can be difficult to adjust the antenna in order to receive stations. Also, the local FOX station has YET to turn digital output to full broadcast power.
• Related to the two points above, sometimes just walking in front of my antenna can cause the station to become unwatchable. What will happen when it storms?

Yet there are great advantages to this, too.

• Multiple stations! How many chances do I get to watch "This Old House" now? More than necessary, but still good. Though I do think they should run some "Nova" on one of the stations, since I normally miss the Tuesday showing.
• Clearer picture - at least when the station is correctly tuned in. The widescreen thing is pretty cool, too.
• No more stations gobbling up the bandwidth with wasteful analog signals. Well, I guess that's not happened quite yet, but that's the goal.

Speaking of television, the long-awaited Antiques Roadshow from Louisville will be aired in just over a month. Mark your calendars!

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