Now I have to use the small January calendar in the bottom corner of my 2005 calendar...

Hello readers, hope you've had a great holiday. We still have a New Year's coming up, which is a time for great celebration for most people. I say most people, because I will be working extra hard before the new year. You see, this blog is NOT Y2k6 compatible. Now, I am just doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but donations will be accepted. Obviously, Gary of RFC has had a bad influence on me...

In important news that you likely don't care about, Intel is losing its image. And it was such a creative logo, too!

Also, national meteorologists predict destruction and devestation in Memphis today. They would like to remind you, however, that these predictions are merely figuratively.

Until next time...if this blog still functions after 2006 begins...

This gives me some interesting "casual Friday" ideas

I've got incredible news! Incredibly geeky news! I have added a link on the right-hand bar that will allow you to use this blog's XML capabilities! You may now add me to your MyYahoo pages or any other news reader that supports ATOM. YES! Okay, now that I'm done explaining something that exactly zero people will use and fewer even understood in the first place, it's time to get to the news at hand.

While my girlfriend and I were at a Christmas party recently, we ran into a similar situation to the one that you'll find here. I certainly support their right to wear what they want to wear, but I wonder what kind of reaction I would have gotten for wearing a sombrero...

Now, pretend you're under pressure by a major sporting committee. You have to make a decision that will affect a major world event. You've made your decision. You're certain you've made the right one. You just have to follow through on it...don't hit the wrong button. Delphi, Indiana has now declared it would have been the eventual winner had it not been for this unfortunately mistake.

It's now time to go. If you want to find me on Christmas night, you can look here.

This is my present to YOU

Welcome back, devoted thrill-seekers who read this blog, and happy Tuesday! I'm in good spirits thanks to leftover pizza for lunch which was also my lunch yesterday.

However, there is one bit of interesting news that you may not have been following. Back in the day (i.e., four or so years ago), I did a report on what had been a recent Bolivian election. Who were the contenders? In one corner was your standard politician - not too poor, no radical views, etc, etc. In the other corner was Evo Morales, who was a poor farmer and who had a penchant for chewing coca, even when at work in politics. If I had been speaking English (instead of the required Spanish) during the presentation, I might have said "Needless to say, Evo Morales lost." So, needless to say, I couldn't have seen this one coming.

I suppose this makes for news that's funny in a scary sort of a way.

[blogger's note: now a co-worker just came around asking if anybody wanted an crab rangoon. *checks date to see if it's Christmas already*]

In related news, at least he doesn't have access to the new star destroyers (ugh, I'm referencing Star Wars?!?).

Anyway, it's nearing time to get back to work. In order to get the maximum readership, I've decided that I better get the P.C. on as we close in on the holidays: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays, May the force be with you.

Until next time,

This entry's only about 34% humorous

Good news, everyone: I have now been reconnected to Radio Free Colorado. Well, sort of. I can listen to the music. The guestbook, however, is off-limits. I suppose I can deal with that.

In other news, perhaps you've heard of technology and the arts coming together in many different ways. Many times this makes for interesting results, but occasionally you come across something that just screams waste of time. Computer analysis also indicates that da Vinci is rolling in his grave...at 9π radians/sec.

I would also like to mention that having broken links in past entries is one of the most annoying things about trying to maintain a blog. I should probably update all my entries to say "You can't see it now, but I promise, it was a hoot!"

It's time to go back now. Until next time,

Free of Radio Free Colorado

Once again, it is lunch and here I am writing. I'm happy to report my sandwich, chips and drink were consumed without any difficulties. I am not happy to report that someone who happens to share an IP address with me here decided to flame Gary of Radio Free Colorado fame. Our IP now gets rerouted from his server to the internet's version of Mr. Beep-Beep-Beep. That's right, we got the boot. I can only imagine what I'm missing; it just won't be the same!

In news that you likely missed, a town in Brazil has proposed this law. In related news, these folks may have just found a new place to recruit from.

Okay, so I can see how you might be able to do without that bit of news, but what about something more important. Now you've learned a lesson: it's so dang rude to talk on cell phones while conducting business!

And finally, Sony breathes a sigh of relief. Now you've just learned another lesson: there's nothing you can do to screw up Windows any more than it already is.

And now my break has drawn to a close. Here's hoping for a spectacular day for those who read this blog.

Spanish phrase: ¡Gary, no soy culpable!
English phrase: Gary, it's not my fault!

The Superhero's Lunch Break Writings

Hello all! Just a quick note for you - I am no longer an engineer. Nope, I am now:

The astonishing Stynksya Skarab
Power(s): Juggling, Radar sense
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial mutant willpower
Weapon: Skarab Sling
Transportation: Stynksya Wings

That's right, if you want to change your job, it's all right here!

Also, while monkeys have yet to recreate anything of Shakespeare, I have no doubt they have already duplicated this weblog...many times.

I don't know, Margo!

Lately, I've been having trouble finding stories by which I can inform the general public about going-ons in the world. Or perhaps the problem is that the stories are generally the same ones I've already written about in earlier postings. Even science articles, which normally attract me with such headlines as Existence of traffic cones questioned and Long-term study finds that dogs like meat, haven't provided any new and exciting information in quite a while. In search of something different, I found a site that may help me find the current news.

For a really happy treat, check the disclaimer. Okay, so it's not a terrible site, but did you notice how they pulled it off? There's no section titled "American Politics". Still, it's hard to give it too much credibility when their ads are sponsored by "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle".

Time for lunch to end, but before I do, here's the important Spanish lesson for today:

Spanish Word: Vacaciones De Navidad Del Lampoon Nacional
English Translation: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

I am the...

Since I spent most of this break correcting the last post, I can only afford a short post today.

First of all, as any good engineer knows, MIT is one of the top-notch schools for engineering today. So I think we can all say that anyone who is recognized by such a school has achieved much in the way of engineering design. I give to you one of the most recognized and celebrated inventors of our time. They must have overlooked the biggest achievement in sleeping technology. (Blogger's note: I do not endorse either of these products, and honestly, I'm a little wary of "AsSeenOnTV.com" as a domain name).

We also can't forget about new discoveries being made. For example, a new animal has been found in the land of hyphenated-named creatures. Sure, a cat-fox and ferret-badger sound interesting, but I was hoping more for something like this?

Well, it's time to get going. But not before a little vocab:

Spanish word: morsa
English word: walrus

Service Blog Soon

I received many responses to the previous blog. Okay, so no one actually posted a comment or sent me an e-mail. For that matter, no person did anything whatsoever in response to it. However, my car, not wanting to be outdone by some A-Team has-been, now speaks to me. For the most part, it just says "Service Engine Soon", and does quite a bit of grumbling when driven. Oh, and sometimes it says "I pity the fool that writes pointless postings in a weblog."

I also am not one to be outdone by others, and I am contemplating integrating an XML format into this blog. For those who are not in the know, XML stands for eXtensible Markup Language. In this format, there are tags which describe the content which can be found on a site. For example, a site might have the following:
(description)Don't come to this site, it's riduculously pointless(/description)
where (description) is the beginning tag, (/description) is the ending tag and the junk in between is the actual description. Then you can run a program from your computer which reads these tags and can report back to you what the description is, or what you could find on the site at that particular moment. I believe in order to usefully incorporate XML, I will need the following tags:

(BadPoliticianOfTheDay)
(RidiculousNewsStoryOfTheDay)
(SpanishWordOfTheDay)
(FakeEnglishTranslationOfTheDay)

[Blogger's baaaad feeling: there is certainly an danger in quick descriptions of new technology and a following joke based on the technology. If this joke has fell flat on its face with you, may I recommend taking an XML course at a local community college, and return to the blog with your newfound knowledge. You will then find it cheesy but understandable.]

That's all for today, here is the Spanish vocabulary for today:

Spanish Word: Pescados De Altavista Babel
English Word: Altavista Babel Fish

Blogger's Update: previously, the tags had not shown up, but I have now corrected the situation...by replacing ">" and "<" with ")" and "(". Rock on, technology!

Entry which will likely dissuade many who were interested in engineering from going through with it

Welcome back, or welcome for the first time to new readers who are likely 1 second away from hitting "Back" on their browsers. My name is [blogger mumbles some name that likely isn't even a real one], and as you may have guessed, I am an engineer. Sometimes that requires me to stare a computer monitor all day, except for my lunch, in which case I stare at the monitor to write this blog. Other days, like yesterday, this requires me to drive to another location in order to test things which I built. With a little tweaking, trickery and a technician who got some serious PDA solitaire playing time in, I was able to pass the test for the device.

Anyway, I can't help but wonder what the people who tested this were thinking as they did it. Initial calculations indicate that there are approximately 1.2 million jokes that could follow the reading of that article. I'll just let everyone else who reads this do the work for me and post a comment.

For those who happen to like physics and are feeling particularly festive about it now that it's the holiday season, may I recommend some physics carols? Oooookay, maybe not.

Well, I believe my time here is up. Until next lunch...