Christmas at work

So while others may be enjoying time off for the Christmas season, I find myself here at work. Sure, I may be "accomplishing" stuff, but is that any reason I should have to be here? Well, at least one good thing came of it. I was able to put up the poster I received for Christmas. Could it possible be the best movie since the critically-acclaimed, box-office smash "Over the top"? One can only guess...

Merry Christmas, One and All!

And remember, the Whigs know whether you're a registered Whig or not, so you better be a registered Whig, for goodness sakes! Or something like that.

In other news, this blog's author submitted his best material for a high-profile comic strip that appears in national newspapers and said material will be used in upcoming strip. More details as they arrive.

----------------
Now playing: Blackmore's Night - Ding Dong Merrily on High (S K Y . F M - The Christmas Channel - A fine collection of Christmas & Holiday music!!)
via FoxyTunes

Over a month later...

In case you thought that this Whig supporter had gone into hiding due to lack of coverage in the media, well, you're sort of right. First of all, I'm disturbed to announce that this survey does NOT include any of the Whig candidates. Poor souls who take this will end up traumatized when the survey reports back that nobody the media keeps tabs on supports their positions except maybe some beagle from Davenport running as an independent. We here supporting the Whigs are letting it be known that our candidates are the best choice for everyone - although the beagle would be a good choice, as well.

Also, while the rest of the comics on this site are usually pretty lackluster, I find this is one that I truly relate to.

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

As a representative of the Whig Party, I approve this message

This blog - taken too seriously?

That's the question I pose to the reader today. You can see in this comment section that a newcomer notes that they would (blogger's note: my touchpad is going to be the end of me - I keep touching it on accident and it sends the cursor out to destroy previous work) like the shirts in Florida. Which is fine - great actually. But one problem - after going on some links, it turns out they're the real deal - sort of. Check this out - underneath the map there's a link to this blog. If you are this newcomer, I encourage you to read some more posts. I think you'll see what I mean. For instance:

1) I generally don't air political grievances on this blog except to make fun of the never-ending ineptitude of all politicians. Opinions on this blog do not necessarily coincide with the views of the blogger. Instead, this blogger believes in such "insane" ideas like peaceful diplomacy, fiscal responsibility, ending corruption in Washington, and mining for barium isotopes around quasar GB1508.

2) I can see where maybe I'm so not funny that you think I'm being serious, but I'm sad to say that really is all the humor I can muster.

In short, I think you (the Florida Whig Party person) should reconsider putting my blog on your listing. And I think you (the regulars) should consider purchasing one of the shirts below. More to come soon!




And you (William Henry Harrison) - lookin' good!

New layout

So in case you haven't noticed, I spruced up the blog a little bit. Maybe it looks a little less professional, but really it's just part of the Whigs message. It's simple yet sophisticated. Also, compare us to this and tell me who's really crazy. Okay, I admit they've got a point with Cascadia, but other than that, they're nutso. And that's the official Whig position.

Anyway, you might notice that I've now got some patriotic bling posted for the occasion. The Whig shirt designs are still in the works, but make no mistake - it'll be the next big thing.

Whig shirts in the works

So I'm pleased to announce that a PROFESSIONAL graphic designer has been working day and night (well, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration) on some Whig shirts. Obviously, this demonstrates the devotion people have to the grand ol' Whig party! Unfortunately, I meant to post this last night along with the .pdf's of the actual designs, but I forgot. They will be posted soon enough, but this just gave me a reason to build up suspense for the shirts.

Also, if you look at the bottom of this post, I have a new Firefox plugin which posts the song I'm currently listening to on Winamp. Awesome, eh?

----------------
Now playing: Grand Funk Railroad - We're An American Band (181.fm - The Eagle (Your Home For REAL Classic Rock!))
via FoxyTunes

Mainstream Media and Censorship

I thought I would spend one post on a serious topic that needs to be addressed with the media today. Censorship. Have you noticed during these ongoing debates that they aren't just ignoring certain people? That maybe they're missing an entire PARTY?!? No, not the crazies in the Green or Libertarian parties - how about the perfectly sensible people in the Whig Party?

I know I say this every year, but this time I'm really going to try and make Whig shirts to get the message out. I feel the following are good starters:

"Front: The Whig Party. Back: 100 years without a scandal"
"Front: Vote Whig. Your great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents did."

Perhaps word of mouth would help as well. Maybe a fair survey to compare, say, Daniel Boone to current members of congress. I have a suspicion who would come out on top.

Also feel free to let the media outlets know how you feel; tell them William Henry Harrison sent you.

Louisville wrap-up

In case you were interested in what else we saw while in Louisville, I made a slideshow of it especially for you. If possible, I would have made it one of those great slideshows that they used to show in elementary school. It probably would have gone something like:

"And here we see Vince making a fool of himself with a life size figure of Colonel Sanders - *ding*"

Instead, you'll have to settle for this. (NOTE: Click the "i" image on the page to read my comments)

Antiques Roadshow Part II

If you remember, we left off with the General Lee plummeting halfway down the ravine. Well, actually, we're going to now show you the camera view which shows the tires hadn't really even left solid ground yet.

Or something like that. Actually, when we got to the second room at the Antiques Roadshow, they took a look at our stuff and told us which section to take our stuff to. My boat was labeled as a "toy", which seemed easy enough. However, the guy then said that taking the cookie jar to "ceramics" would probably take too long, so I should take it instead to "dolls". Oookay, I thought. In any case, we were then led to a rather small circle of blue banners which surrounded the action of the Antiques Roadshow. All the big shots were there, constantly appraising the stream of items which came into their area. I recognized both of the appraisers who eventually appraised my items. I had expected that they were only brought out when someone had something worthwhile, but that was apparently not the case.

First, I should mention that this guy (who was, as expected, wearing his standard Hawaiian shirt) was going crazy with some of the other appraisers just before I was about to get the cookie jar appraised. It appears someone brought something of true merit to the show, but didn't own it. Therefore, she couldn't be on TV with it. Turns out, it was worth $5,000-$10,000. Could I be next I wondered?

In a short answer, NO. As I showed this guy my cookie jar, I could tell I didn't have a winner. He told me that it was made from Japan and maybe worth about $10. Well, it was worth a shot. We then found out that Becky's book was worth more in thought than in actual monetary value. I then went to this guy to get the boat appraised. As I showed him it, I could tell I didn't have a winner again. Once again, it was made in Japan (although it said "Made in USA" - he said, "no way, Jose") . To make matters worse, the paint was chipping off as he was holding it. But he seemed to take an interest in the decal that was on the sides. And then he described how to play with it, and then told me that it was somewhat desirable. And then - $200. That's right. I know it's not the huge find that you probably see every episode on the Antiques Roadshow and I know that it's not even mine to sell, but I was in shock. The way it started, I didn't think it was going to be worth much at all.

So that's my story. I recorded a little session in the "Feedback Booth"; hopefully it makes it to air. If it doesn't, I'll have to describe it one of these days. I also won an Antiques Roadshow shirt which shows the tour dates on the back - it was great. So that's all for Antiques Roadshow.

Antiques Roadshow, Part I

So this past weekend was the big day for the Antiques Roadshow excursion. I did take the toy boat and cookie jar as my "antiques". As soon as we got inside the building, I couldn't help but notice a line of people that rivaled some of the longer lines I've seen at Cedar Point. It was one big expo room that was filled with people - all in a line. Luckily, we were treated to old episodes of Antiques Roadshow and trivia.

During the wait, people were checking out other peoples' stuff. As I checked out some of the stuff, I realized just how outclassed I was by some of the people. Yet that didn't stop the several people who kept wanting me to open the box to the toy boat to show it off. Not that it was a problem - I had thought that the boat was a little too new and not so impressive. But their reactions were almost always one of being impressed. One lady even said "I'm so happy for you!" This was, of course, before we had gotten any appraising or anything.

In any case, we finally reached the end of the waiting line after they began to start rerunning episodes of Antiques Roadshow that we had seen when we first entered the Expo Center. And now to leave you at a cliffhanger. Will the boat live up to the anonymous lady's hopes? Will the cookie jar be worth more the box I brought it in? Will I make it on TV as more than someone who was "casually" trying to get in the picture of someone else's appraisal while being filmed? You'll find out soon enough...but here a picture to keep the mobs occupied.

At left - The city of Louisville makes fun of their unpronounceable name. I personally opt for the one in orange.

Is it an antique? Part II

So here are the objects I'm taking to Antiques Roadshow. I don't have high hopes for them, but we'll see. I decided not to look them up on ebay; I'm just hoping for a pleasant surprise.

The first item here is a toy motor boat. I hope they ask me what I know about it. Then I can say "Well, it's well known that in the mid-17th century, famous American Indian Red Cloud was big into boats. And here, as you can plainly see, is a boat." Then I'd stop there and let them respond. I suspect that would be followed by several awkward moments of silence.

The second thing I'm bringing is bluebird cookie jar. It's below this post, in case you're interested. My idea with this, if it doesn't make it on TV, is to go on the feedback booth after the appraisals are done and say that even though it's not worth a lot of money, it's still worth a lot to me. Then I'd open it up and eat a cookie out of it. Ah, that'd be great.

Anyway, I'll report back how everything went. I'll try and get myself behind all the people that are being recorded. Hopefully, they tolerate a lot there.

Is it an antique?

So I got a hold of this Mary Poppins game while looking for something to take on the Antiques Roadshow. It wasn't incredibly old, but I thought it might go for a little something. However, when I took a little time to find out just what it might be worth, I wasn't impressed with what I had found.

Stay tuned as I continue to search for something that might fetch a little more.

Primary season is a ways off...

But get practicing now:

I think I should write this off as a business expense

Several weeks ago, I broke down and bought a digital camera. Honestly, I cannot remember whether I actually posted that information on this blog. If I didn't, you now know. I would like to think that I am now nearly a bonafide (which comes up misspelled in Mozilla, but okay in the dictionary - in other news, "okay" is also coming up misspelled...) reporting photographer.

Because there has always been high demand for news involving strange places to put a basketball hoop, I felt obligated to take a snapshot of a first-hand account with a strangely placed rim. Yep, it is conveniently on the side of a pork vendor's trailer. Or maybe I should say "dangerously". Yes, if you will notice, it is in fact over the door of the trailer.

Lastly, I am still in need of antiques. I have found some stuff, but it has yet to be my own.

Have I got some incredible items for you!

I may still be looking for antiques, but I no longer need to look anywhere else for zero-volume, one-sided, non-orientable klein bottles! (More information available here). In other news, I believe this post may break records for its links/word ratio.

The Snowman and Me

This belated picture comes to us courtesy of my personal paparazzi. This may look odd, but only because you don't know the snowman. I can't even explain it here - you've just got to know the snowman.

(brief pause)

What's it like to have a sense of dignity?

Coming Soon - Adventure #232F

Several weeks ago, while I was in a wild state of mind, I did something a little crazy. Something that most people wouldn't admit to even if they were one of the few who tried it. I threw my hat into...

the "Antiques Roadshow" lottery for a Louisville show. I had done it once before and (of course) didn't make it. However, this time it was different. I received a notice that I would soon receive tickets and gave me information on logistics for items to be appraised.

Now, it should come to no surprise to those who know me that I don't actually have items I can get appraised. Instead, I'll have to go rooting around for anything I can find in the meantime. However, I understand the TI-82's are getting up there in age. If anybody has an ancient Greek artifacts, though, it would probably be better...

SalesGenie.com Super Bowl Commercial

I can't be positive but this could be the most hilariously moronic commercials on TV now. I've seen it several times in the run-up to the Indy 500.

I think perhaps the most interesting thought is there may be those who watch it and say "Whoa!" They are probably enamored by the "only fools work hard" line. I am enamored by some of the worst acting/dialog I've ever witnessed in a commercial.

To the tree it may concern,

I would sincerely like to thank you for knocking down a power line yesterday morning. Thanks to you, I was able to enjoy at least a little bit of a fantastic sunny day when I would have been stuck at my computer all day.


...also, upon further thought, sorry about your fall...

Movin' on...Sideways

Recently, I moved to a new cube at work. I wish I could say I gained 10 extra square feet or now have a finished basement along with it, but no such luck. I did however re-arrange my desk setup, though. In fact, I have yet another drawing of this.

So this is now worth 41 cents?

Envelope

Recently, I was given the letter at the right from an anonymous tipster. This beauty was received just prior to the new increase in postage. It came just as damaged as you see here.

Now I am one who, frankly, doesn't like to send anything by snail mail anyway, few exceptions aside. I think this just bolsters my unease of using the USPS. Sure, this was just a credit card application, but it could have been anything. It could have been those Christmas cards I really really meant to send this last Christmas but procrastinated until I gave up at Easter. In any case, sending stuff by slow snail mail now costs two cents more; it also takes longer then e-mail and has a possibility (albeit remote) of ending up like what you see here.

To be fair, the USPS sent this heartfelt apology. No word yet on whether that means they will cease to use dogs to sort mail in the mail room.

Now if only the federal government will subsidize this hobby...

We here at the ELBW (pronounced "Throatwarbler Mangrove") are contemplating the costs of a digital camera. Certainly it wouldn't be used just for silly antics like you've seen in excess here. However, we cannot deny that there could be as much as a three-fold increase in ridiculousness should such a purchase be made.

In lieu of such a purchase, though, we have made breakthroughs in another technology. Using my "scanner" and my penchant for drawing, I now have some images to clearly and succinctly describe situations I had trouble describing earlier.

In an earlier post, you probably couldn't understand just how sweet my parking spot really was. Well, fret no longer, here's a near-verbatim image of what that parking spot was like.

And in case you can't imagine what my workplace is like, especially during the all-important lunch hour, here's proof that I should probably just work through lunch.

Reminder for the Primaries

This morning, I went to vote for the primaries in my local precinct. I was handed a little slip as I walked in, and it was immediately taken from me. Probably because I was the only one there - I'm not entirely sure why the first lady didn't just hand it off to the other one. I guess they wanted me to touch it, if only for a second, so I can know the feel of democracy.

Well, whatever the reason, I would remind readers to participate in the active primaries of the Whig parties in their area. Be sure that when asked to check "R" or a "D", you tell them that you are a "W". They'll take care of you, trust me.

Ooookay....

As per normal goofing around on the internet during my lunch break, I took at gander at the Spiderman 3 promo page. In particular, I was wondering if there was anything fun, like the Snakes on a Plane calls that "Samuel L. Jackson" would make to any phone number you had it call.

Instead, I found a (particularly loud) promo without much substance. However, there was a poll that was being taken. I figured it would be about whether you would go to see the movie in the first hour it was out or the second hour. Instead, the question was (and I quote): "Can a man confront the forces of darkness without giving in to them?" Ummmm...what? This is just a movie, right?

I've determined, though, that this question is up for interpretation. For instance, given my interpretation of this, my response would be "Why yes, I can change the station when they start to play a Rush song."

Update to A.P. Day

I just ate pizza that was given to us here for Administrative Professionals Day. Perhaps this should be a concern...

Administrative Professional's Day

I'm not sure if anyone still reads this anymore, but I'm willing to take a chance. Tomorrow (Wednesday, April 25 2007) is Administrative Professional's Day, which wikipedia notes is an "unofficial secular holiday" - yet somehow this fake profane day winds up on my calendar!

Ha, just kidding! I appreciate everything these professionals do! Like typing a bunch of stuff and being given the junk that other people don't want to... do...

Okay, I checked my business card and I am NOT an administrative professional.

Some day, she might be viewed in a favorable light

But not quite yet...

Why I usually skip reading directions...

I noticed this morning while putting clothes in my dryer that it had recommendations on how to make for the quickest and most efficient drying. Most of it was the usual cleaning out the lint screen and related suggestions, but the last one recommended making sure that your circuit breaker and fuse were operational. I'm surprised they didn't mention that this might decrease drying time by as much as 95%!

Snowed in with DSL

Starting last Friday, I have been technically online with DSL. I say technically because due to the layout of my apartment, my computer spent a lot of time on the floor next to my dining room table before I got my wireless router up and running.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the grocery store after work. I wasn't sure if the Colts were making an announced visit there or what, but it seemed that there were an unusually large number of people shopping. I forgot, despite all my years as a grocer service technician (or bagger), that people always came in droves at the first sign of snowfall. It seems that this time they actually may not have overreacted.
Now I am in my 8th hour back from an early-dismissed work. A folder that I took back to work on in case I got bored ended up taking a backseat to intense apartment cleaning, cryptoquotes, watching TV, listening to internet radio, taking a nap, and (of course) posting to this blog. It doesn't really look too bad outdoors except the 2' snow drift on my balcony and the memory of almost getting stuck while trying to pull into my apartment.
Okay...I'm bored - but I'm still not going to work on that folder.

Super Monday

So as expected by many this side of I-65, the Colts went on to win that-big-game-last-night-oh-please-don't-sue-me-NFL (TBGLNOPD'TSMNFL). This, however, was a shock to a very large city on the west side of I-65, who couldn't seem to get over the notion that the Bears could lose a game simply by scoring less points than their opponents. However, I think nobody was shocked that Pepsi didn't return to the "brown and bubbly" campaign initiated last year.

Last night

So last night, I found myself temporarily in front of the television for the annual state of the union address. And while we didn't get a visit from Oscar the Grouch again, we still had a very interesting situation.

If you remember correctly, this blog had exclusive coverage last year of Nancy Pelosi being pegged with a paper ball by Roy Blunt. With the switch of control of the house this year, Nancy had a chance to strike back.

In a strikingly bipartisan prank, she had arranged for president Bush to declare Missouri should be kicked out of the union. Both sides of the aisle, all but Rep. Blunt in on the joke, stood up and applauded. Blunt, following everyone else's lead, stood up and clapped with them. Everybody then burst into fits of laughter. To which the president said "Whoops...[pauses and looks at notes] caught... someone... not...playi-I mean paying... attention." He then went on to continue his address, starting with the Let's Kick Missouri Out of the Union Initiative.

I should mention that I was really tired during this and couldn't stay awake for the whole thing.

State of the Blog Address

I would first like to mention that the blog is in the finest shape it has ever been.

[applause]

But posting hasn't been easy. That is why the readers of this blog on both sides of the aisle, those who think this blog is the greatest thing ever and those who are petitioning the government to shut it down, need to come together in a bi-opinionated way. Those with views other than the two polarized ones mentioned needn't apply!

[applause]

This blog has become too dependent on me for posting. That is why we need to start an initiative to diversify the sources of posting. By 2017, I hope to reduce postings by myself by 20%

[grand applause]

Thank you, one and all.

Bowling and Miniature Golf

So this past weekend, I made a visit to a new entertainment place. I would have called it a bowling alley, but if you have to walk a little ways before you see the lanes, it's no longer a bowling alley. Before you get there, you're immersed in all sorts of kiddie fun - from a multi-tiered ball pit to an arcade to a lounge and bar. There was also indoor miniature golf, which I wouldn't consider kiddie fun because that's what I ended up doing.

In any case, I'm about to do something to this post that I've never done before - give it a label it truly deserves. Let's see if it makes any noticeable difference...

Back for 2007

Welcome back! If you haven't been keeping track of this blog in the past few weeks, fear not: I was too consumed with days off and...stuff.

Perhaps one of the most interesting thing that happened over the extended break was an awesome parking spot I got in Chicago. I will attempt to convey the awesomidity of it at a later date.

Otherwise, I had a good Christmas in which the ornaments on my Christmas tree grew at an exponential rate. At just what exponent, I'm not at liberty to say.

Finally, this laptop looks pretty interesting. The only thing it doesn't appear to have that a Dell laptop might is an exploding battery.